The Golden Rule of Co-Parenting: Building Respect After Divorce

By Joe Foley | Host of No Sitting on the Sideline

Divorce is rarely part of anyone’s dream for their family—but it’s a reality many parents face. And when children are involved, the stakes feel higher. Emotions run deep. Conversations are hard. But what if, instead of conflict, there was a different model—one grounded in respect, shared purpose, and something as simple as the Golden Rule?

That’s exactly what author Theresa Harlow explores in her powerful approach to post-divorce parenting. I sat down with her on my podcast to talk about co-parenting, communication, and how two people who couldn’t make marriage work can still make parenting work.

From Adversaries to Allies

Theresa, author of Happily Divorced: A Journey to Peaceful Co-Parenting, didn’t sugarcoat the struggle. When she told her then-husband Bob she wanted a divorce, he said something that stopped her in her tracks:
“You realize you’re going to miss half of your son’s life.”

That comment hit her hard—and ultimately became a turning point. Rather than fueling division, it sparked a shared commitment to stay present for their son. Not just physically, but emotionally.

Co-Parenting Isn't About Perfection. It’s About Priorities.

Theresa and Bob’s journey wasn’t easy or flawless. But they made intentional choices—like living close to one another, sticking to schedules, and most importantly, being flexible. Their motto? Show up. Communicate. Adjust when life happens.

Theresa emphasizes one simple yet transformative principle:
Treat your co-parent the way you’d want to be treated.
It sounds basic—but in the middle of a custody battle or a tense handoff, it’s a radical act of maturity.

Real Talk: Co-Parenting Challenges

Theresa spoke honestly about the emotional weight of single parenting:

• Holiday heartache – The first Christmas apart felt like a loss. But instead of dwelling in that grief, they got creative. Theresa invited Bob to spend Christmas Eve on the couch so he could be there for their son’s morning excitement.

• Learning new skills – From hitching trailers to fixing things around the house, single parenting meant doing things she’d never had to do before.

• Shared events – Whether it was rock band performances or soccer games, they both showed up. Together. Because their son deserved that.

10 Ways to Reclaim Time With Your Child After Divorce

Theresa offered these real-life strategies for rebuilding lost parenting time:

1. Live nearby to reduce logistical stress.

2. Stick to your schedule—consistency matters.

3. Be flexible when special opportunities arise.

4. Make daily phone or video calls to stay emotionally connected.

5. Attend school functions and games even if it’s “not your day.”

6. Volunteer for drop-offs and pick-ups to gain bonus time.

7. Be the before/after school parent if your schedule allows.

8. Offer transportation when the other parent needs help.

9. Support relationships with extended family on both sides.

10. Communicate clearly and respectfully to avoid unnecessary drama.

A Co-Parenting Method Built on Respect

The heart of Theresa’s message is this: divorce doesn’t have to mean destruction. It can be the beginning of a new kind of partnership—one based on shared love for your child and mutual respect, even if the romantic relationship has ended.

As Theresa put it:

“If you wouldn't want someone to say it to you, don’t say it to them.”

Final Thoughts for Parents in the Middle of Divorce

If you're co-parenting now or preparing for that possibility, here are a few final takeaways from Theresa’s story:

• Focus on your child’s needs—not your feelings about your ex.

• Think long-term—you’ll be parenting together for years to come.

• Be the calm one—it only takes one person to de-escalate.

• Lead with empathy—even when it’s hard.

Resources

You can learn more about Theresa’s work at theresaharlow.com, where she shares stories, blog posts, and updates on her book Happily Divorced.

Want to hear the whole conversation?
🎧 Listen to the podcast episode: No Sitting on the Sideline Dad – Episode 68