When a Pet Becomes Family: Grieving the Loss They Leave Behind

Here’s a blog post in the style of Podcast Today, inspired by your heartfelt episode with Jean Alfieri on grieving the loss of a beloved pet. It’s structured like a conversational, story-forward blog piece that blends podcast moments with reader-friendly insights.

"We may not talk about it often, but when a pet passes—it hurts. A lot."

That’s how we opened the mic on this week’s episode of No Sitting on the Sideline Dad. And the conversation that followed with certified grief coach Jean Alfieri? It was raw, real, and surprisingly healing.

Jean’s not just a grief coach. She’s the heart behind 21 Ways to Weather the Loss of Your Pet—a book born from classroom questions, rescue dog love stories, and the kind of emotional honesty we all need more of.

The Unexpected Grief

Jean shared how the whole journey started in a second-grade classroom. A little boy—eyes wide, voice quiet—asked her a question no author prepares for:
“Have you ever had a dog that died?”
That moment opened a door not just for him, but for Jean, too. She’d walked that path. Many times. And like so many of us, she realized… we don't always know how to talk about it.

It's "Just a Dog"... Until It's Not

Let’s be honest—society isn’t great at helping us grieve pets. We don’t get bereavement days. We're told to “just get another one.” But as Jean pointed out, that’s a deep misunderstanding of what pets are.

“They’re part of the family,” she said. “Sometimes they’re the best part.”

I shared stories about my pets—especially Axel, a Maine Coon named after Axel Foley. Fifteen years of life. Protector. Clown. Companion. When he passed, it wasn’t just grief—it was losing a thread woven through years of life transitions.

Kids and Pet Loss: When You’re Grieving Too

One of the toughest spots? Helping your kids grieve while you're still grieving yourself. Jean calls her book an “Idea Guide”—not a fix-all, but a gentle place to start. Some of her suggestions for families:

• Paint a memory rock together.

• Fill a jar with your favorite stories.

• Light a candle at walk time.

• Make a video or photo collage.

• Say their name. Share their story.

The goal? Help kids honor the bond, not hide from the feelings.

Guilt, Grief, and the Decision No One Wants to Make

We went there, too. Talking about that day at the vet—the one where you know what’s coming. Jean shared a powerful idea from her vet: mark each day on a calendar with a smiley or sad face. Patterns will tell the story when emotions can't.

And for anyone struggling with guilt over the decision to say goodbye? Jean reminded us:
“You’ve always been their caregiver. This is a final act of love.”

When Is It “Too Soon” to Get Another Pet?

This one doesn’t come with rules. For some, the house feels too empty too fast. For others, waiting is necessary. As Jean put it, "Grief doesn’t run on a schedule, and healing doesn’t mean replacing.”

If You’re Grieving Right Now...

Jean had one message:
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”

It’s simple. But powerful. And too often missing in how we support each other. Whether your pet passed last week or last year, that love still echoes—and that’s worth honoring.

Want to explore Jean Alfieri’s book?
Find 21 Ways to Weather the Loss of Your Pet and more at dogauthor.com